Too Long; Didn't Read

Halloween is just around the corner. You’ve browsed some websites and checked out some costume shops, but you still don’t have a costume. Nothing appeals to you. That authentic Master Chief costume looked awesome, but you don’t want to pay $1500 to not get laid. But don’t lose hope. I have a few costume suggestions that are cheap, thrifty, and most importantly, awesome.

We live in dire times. I'm not talking about the economy that is being fucked into the ground.  I’m not talking about 3rd world poverty.  Evil dictators?  Nope.  I am on my high horse, shouting from the rooftops about the health epidemic sweeping the western world. For the past 30 years, people in western countries have been getting fatter. MUCH fatter. Life expectancies are forecast to plateau for the first time in a century.  Is this because we are eating better?  Fuck no. Our shelves are simply hitting critical mass.  We can’t get any more obese.

But, I am not a doctor.  I am not a sociologist.  I would like to think I’m an e-preacher, but I am not that either. I don’t give a shit.  Food is awesome.  This is about something much, much more important. Something in our society from a bygone era: the 'Movie Fat Kid'.