Too Long; Didn't Read

Halloween is just around the corner. You’ve browsed some websites and checked out some costume shops, but you still don’t have a costume. Nothing appeals to you. That authentic Master Chief costume looked awesome, but you don’t want to pay $1500 to not get laid. But don’t lose hope. I have a few costume suggestions that are cheap, thrifty, and most importantly, awesome.

Although I am not very southern, I live in the south.  Somehow, I just ended up here.  I have (unfortunately) called this place home for a long time, and one thing has been increasingly upsetting me.  Everyone “around these parts” utilizes obnoxious southern expressions instead of speaking standard English.  To clarify, they announce a plethora of long and confusing shit (many times involving small animals) to express what they truly mean.