Too Long; Didn't Read

Youtube is a mystery.  I have always wondered why some crappy videos get enormous traffic, while some genius content falls into the depth of nothingness.  Has Youtube become the video equivalent of digg.com?  Is it possible that one’s standing in the community means much more than the content you upload? 

I recently read a statistic that claimed hundreds of hours of video is uploaded onto Youtube every hour.  The first though that pops into my head is, “Holy shit, that’s a lot of bandwidth.”  Immediately following is, “Yes. Youtube is probably just like Digg.”  So I went on a search.  I googled, I ventured the depths of Youtube, and I stumbled wildly along the interwebs.  Why?  I needed to find out how videos get large amounts of traffic on Youtube.  Also, Sherlock Holmes is awesome and this is the only mystery I am smart enough to consider.

Google was no help.  Hundreds of douchebags have 800 different theories, and they all conflict.  Looking through youtube, I could find no rhyme or reason to anything. It made no sense.

Then, I found it.  The video that taught me everything I would ever need to know about video marketing:

3,000 views.  3,000 people watched a video of a video of a TV show.

I have unlocked the secret.  If you want Youtube traffic, simply follow these 5 easy steps:

1)      Find a crappy Youtube video.

2)      Film said video with your own camera.

3)      Make sure that you don’t actually press play on the video you are filming until you’ve been filming for about 45 seconds.

4)      Shake.  This is the key.  You must SHAKE THE CAMERA WILDLY.

5)      Upload the video of the Youtube video to Youtube.

You’ll have thousands of views in no time.  If you want to be a true trendsetter, take a video of a video of a video of a video.  If my math is correct, every link in this chain will add thousands of views.